WHY I AM SO THANKFUL TODAY

Sometimes having low vision takes me to dark places in my mind. Why did this happen to me?  What is my future? Is life with a major disability worth living?

LINDA CARTER & KEN MILLS

I’ve learned that such periodic pity parties will always be part of my life. These moods will pass. To me the glass of life is half full and each day brings renewal and hope.

A big reason for my positive spirit is the companionship of my wife and soul mate Linda Carter.  She is my rock, my best friend and my guide as my vision has deteriorated.

 A few weeks ago Linda surprised me with a short story she had written about when she first noticed the impact low vision was having on my life. I appreciate her point of view (pun intended) because I spent ten years denying my vision problems.

Linda’s story is about our trip to Hawaii in March 2004, approximately a year after the eye surgeon burned the retina in my right eye. She is kindly letting me share her thoughts today:

Hawaii. God the air smelled good. I remember that. Ken and I popped off the plane at the Honolulu airport in March 2004. We got our stuff and headed to the Marriott Waikiki hotel. We checked in. We were hungry, so we went looking for something unique to eat.

We didn’t have to go far.  Across the street from the hotel there was a café that was filled with people. I welcomed the scent of My Tai’s.

We were descending a staircase into the café.  I noticed Ken was having trouble negotiating the stairs.  He seemed hesitant and off balance. This was the first time I noticed how Ken’s sight was affecting his life.

The bottom line is when you are full sighted, like me, you can easily miss the clues of your partner’s disability. It would be a couple of years before I truly understood what was happening with Ken’s vision. After all he still has crystal blue eyes that I have always adored.

 I learned to take our time when we walk together. I learned that streets, hallways and rooms have obstacles that could create a problem for Ken. I made him aware of cracks in the pavement, oncoming traffic and what to expect from the next staircase. I see how his hands do not always meet my hands when he is trying to pass an object, like a glass or maybe a picture.

I became Ken’s chauffeur whenever I could, lessening our worry over traffic and busy streets. I drove him to his surgeries and waited patiently but anxiously for the report. I took him to his follow up appointments at the University of Minnesota Eye Clinic. I got to know his brilliant surgeon Dr. Martha Wright. I bought him flashlights and read all I could about coping with low vision.

I am doing everything I can to meet Ken’s needs, but I told him early on that I would never understand what he was seeing or not seeing.

What I can do is listen and learn and remember to laugh in the face of adversity. Together, we are sight and light.

Linda Carter

Linda, I am so thankful for your love and support.  It literally means the world to me. I love you and I believe in you.

My advice to you, dear reader, is tell the helpers in your life that you love them. Do it today.  Don’t take them granted. Cherish these moments and be grateful for the blessings your helpers provide every day.